


You wouldn't understand

by Quacks



Series: When the devil needs saving [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Family, Childhood Trauma, Dysfunctional Family, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Language, Mentioned Skip Westcott, Past Rape/Non-con, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Prompt Fic, Protective Avengers, Protective Tony Stark, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Triggers, mission, traumatic memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quacks/pseuds/Quacks
Summary: ‘Come on Einstein, it’ll be fun!’ Peter hears echoing through his head as he stares at the familiar face in front of him.The pale blue eyes that are looking back at him make Peter feel nauseous. He feels his body moving, all but stumbling backwards towards the exit. His vision goes blurry, and all he can hear is the pounding of his own heart thudding in his ears.* * * *This is to fill the prompt asked for by Woopwoopwoop
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: When the devil needs saving [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721197
Comments: 27
Kudos: 813





	You wouldn't understand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Woopwoopwoop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woopwoopwoop/gifts).



> I really hope I did this prompt justice. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Please leave a kudos or comment! Let me know what you think or if there's anything you think I could change to make it better! 
> 
> Also let me know if there are any major grammar errors. I briefly read back through to check, but I probably missed some (possible a lot).

Peter counted down the seconds until the final bell rang, signaling the end of the school year. While his classmates were busy saying their pre-summer goodbyes and celebrating their temporary freedom, Peter rushed his way out of the building. Ned was already gone for the summer, so Peter didn’t have anyone to wait for. 

With his mind racing through all the fun things he has planned, Peter hopped down the steps of the school, eager to get as far away from the place as possible. He puts in his headphones, selecting the ‘School’s Out’ playlist he and Ned had put together, starting his walk to the Avenger’s tower. 

For the summer, Peter is going to be staying at the tower with Mr. Stark and the Avengers. May was hesitant at letting Peter be away for so long, but with a little persuasion from himself, Mr. Stark, and Happy, she conceded. Besides, Peter will be swinging through Queens almost every night, so he can always stop in and say hi. 

Mr. Stark had told him that there was going to be a lot of training while Peter stayed in the tower. “If you’re going to be out fighting crime, then you’re going to do it with proper training.” And Peter couldn’t argue with that. Anything that helps him be better, is something worth doing. 

Walking into the tower, Peter made a beeline for Mr. Stark’s private elevator, not bothering to check in at security. They all know him anyway. 

The doors open for Peter before he makes it to the elevator, and he’s never been more grateful for Mr. Stark’s A.I. FRIDAY really does make life in the tower easier for everyone. He doesn’t have to say anything before the doors close, and the elevator starts lifting it’s way up the tower. 

Peter’s excitedly bouncing on his toes, ready to start the training schedule Mr. Stark made for him. Everyday he’ll be training with someone new, and today it’s Steve who will be teaching Peter how to make the most use of his strength. He’s been looking forward to this training more than anything. 

When the doors finally open, Peter freezes. All of the Avengers are standing around the living room in full mission gear. Steve looked like he was in the middle of explaining the game plan, but stopped when Peter walked in, causing everyone else to turn towards Peter as well. 

“Hey kid, go change.” Steve orders. “We’re leaving in two minutes. Someone will fill you in on the way.” 

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Before he even makes it to his room, Peter’s already out of his school clothes, and pulling his Spider-Man suit from the bottom of his backpack. Slipping it on with practiced ease, Peter’s back out in the living room just as Steve starts to wrap up the debriefing. “Everyone clear on what their task is? We need to get this down before it can cause any more damage. Let’s go!”

As soon as they’re all in the quinjet - save for the ones with flying abilities - it takes off, headed towards Brooklyn. “What exactly are we fighting?” 

“We aren't fighting anything. You’re on civilian duty while the rest of us deal with some mutated rhino guy.” Mr. Stark says through the coms.

Peter groans and tries to keep the whine out of his voice as he protests. “Why am I always on civilian duty? I can do more than that.” 

“I agree with Stark, kid.” Natasha says from the cockpit. “We don’t want you getting hurt.” 

“That’s ridiculous!” Peter argues. “I heal faster than everyone here. If I get hurt, it’s not that big of a deal. If one of you gets injured then you’ll be in the MedBay for at least a week. It makes more sense if I’m out in the field.” 

Rolling his eyes, Clint places a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “That’s not helping your case, kid.” 

“I’m not a kid!” Peter snaps. He hates that everyone treats him like a damn child. He’s 17, almost 18 at the end of summer. They can’t keep putting him on the sidelines like some mascot who deals with the crowds. He can literally lift an entire building off of himself, so Peter would like to think he can handle a scary rhino thing. 

“It’s not up for debate, Pete.” Cap says, his tone leaving no room for further arguing. 

Huffing a breath of annoyance, Peter sits back in his seat, arms folded tightly across his chest. At least he has his mask on so no one can see the slight pout his lips are forming. It would only give them more reason to think of him as a child. 

The rest of the ride to Brooklyn was quiet, everyone getting their minds in focus for the fight they’re about to enter. As the cargo door opened, a loud grunting could be heard, barely louder than the panicked screaming from people trying to get to safety. 

“Alright team. You all know what to do. Stick to the plan..” Steven shoots Peter a pointed look. “...and let’s try to wrap this up before dinner.” 

Peter rushes off the jet, immediately taking in the scene around him. The streets are torn up, several cars are tipped on their sides, and there is a large hole in the side of one of the shops. Looking around, Peter doesn’t see any civilians on the streets. He webs himself higher up a street light, making sure he isn’t messing anyone. 

A flash from one of Mr. Stark's repulsors draws Peter’s attention to the shop the hole leads into. Peter barely makes out the horn of what he guesses is a giant rhino. Just the tip of the horn is the size of Mr. Stark’s head. 

The blasts from the Iron Man suit aren’t doing any damage and only seem to be making the rhino more angry. Time slows for Peter as he watches the rhino charge at Mr. Stark, only to miss the man, and barrel right into the side of another building, causing the structure to shake violently. 

“Kid, that apartment complex is going to fall and FRIDAY says there are several civilians inside.” Mr. Stark informs him, leading the fight away from the area. 

“On it.” Peter responds, leaping from his spot to the front of the building in one jump. “Karen, search for heat signatures and keep me updated on how much time I have before the building goes down.” 

Red dots pop up on the hub screen in his mask, showing Peter that there are 12 people still in the building. Starting from the bottom floor, Peter starts to evacuate people, leading them away from the fight. 

At some point Karen popped up a timer, counting down the minutes until the building was estimated to collapse. There are only two more people with five minutes left to spare. Easy peasy, Peter thinks. 

Through the coms, Peter can hear as the others figure out the weak spots on the rhino, forming a plan on how to attack. According to Steve, they only have one shot to get it right. Peter thinks that sounds a bit dramatic, but if it gets them done sooner, who cares.

The last two people are on the top floor so Peter crawls up the side of the building, before crashing through a window, like he’s done with every other floor. Thanks to Karen’s heat signatures, it doesn’t take Peter long to find a young college age woman huddled in her closet. She’s shaking from head to toe, but when she sees Peter - well, Spider-Man - she jumps up to hug him, sobbing several ‘thank you’s’ as he carries her out the same window he’d entered. 

Peter is half tempted to lower the woman down with his webs, so he can get the other person out quicker. They’re up on the 15th floor, so lowering her down would be the fastest route. The thought is bouncing around his head, when Peter hears a door open behind him. His spider sense immediately flares up. The warning is so strong, it’s almost painful. In one swift motion, Peter puts down the woman, moving her behind him as he faces the new threat. 

_ ‘Come on Einstein, it’ll be fun!’  _ Peter hears echoing through his head as he stares at the familiar face in front of him. 

The pale blue eyes that are looking back at him make Peter feel nauseous. He feels his body moving, all but stumbling backwards towards the exit. His vision goes blurry, and all he can hear is the pounding of his own heart thudding in his ears. 

_ ‘Stay still or someone will catch us and they’ll see what a little slut you are. You’re even excited for me to touch you.’ _

He keeps backing up until Peter bumps into the woman, and breaks out of his trance. Grabbing the woman again, Peter jumps out the broken window, without a second glance at the man still stuck inside the building. Once on the ground, Peter gives the woman the same instructions he gave everyone else he saved. The woman runs off, and Peter can’t help but slump against the building, trying to even out his breathing. 

“Come on, Peter. Come on.” He tells himself. “You’re okay. He can’t hurt you anymore.” 

Despite running through all the breathing exercises he’s learned through the years, Peter can’t help but feel like there’s a weight on his chest. The shallow breaths aren’t bringing in enough air to fill his lungs, and the world around him starts to spin. He knows he needs to get Skip out, but he can’t get his body to move again. 

“Peter. There is still one more civilian in the building. I suggest you get him out soon. You only have two minutes left until the building is estimated to fall.” Karen told him.

“I..I can’t.” Peter forces out. He physically can not bring himself to face the man again. It’s been years since Peter saw him last, and he’s just gotten to the point where he can sleep without dreaming about the things the man would do to him. 

The memories start to take over Peter’s thoughts, and he knows he needs to leave. He shoots a web to a building across the street, swinging as quickly as he can, ignoring the man calling out to him from the window. 

“Kid. You forgot someone.” Sam calls out over the coms. “What, is civilian duty too hard for you or something?” 

Peter doesn’t stop. He swings past the team, who are all standing around the unconscious rhino, determined to get as far away from the building. 

“Peter, Stop! You’re not done. There’s still someone in the building.” Steve orders. 

“Then get him yourself!” Peter yells. 

For the first time since they started, the coms go completely silent. But only for a moment, then everyone starts talking at the same time, all of them asking various questions or ordering Peter to go back. 

But Peter doesn’t hear any of it. He has Karen turn off his coms as his eyes start to sting, and he lets out a sob he couldn’t hold back any longer. He hurries faster to the tower, hoping to get back before everyone else. 

Unfortunately, the quinjet lands right as Peter reaches the top of the tower. He climbs through the window, trying to hide the tears still pooling in his eyes as he pulls off his mask. Peter tries to leave the living room before the others can enter, but he’s too slow. 

“Parker! What the actual fuck were you thinking?” Sam yells, as he enters the room first, followed by the other Avengers, all looking just as pissed. 

“Kid, you better have one hell of an explanation.” Mr. Stark growls. 

“I..” Peter tries to explain, but the words won’t form. How does he explain something like that to his teammates? 

“What’s going on?” Bruce asks as he walks in the room, taking the sight of the Avengers gathered around a trembling Peter. 

“Peter almost let a civilian die tonight.” Clint answered. 

“He left a man in a building that was a minute away from collapsing.” Natasha expanded on Clint’s explanation. “Then ignored the rest of us when we tried to get him to come back.” 

“You say you’re not a kid, but then you pull a stunt like this? Maybe you aren’t ready to be in the field yet.” Steve scoffs. 

Bruce stays quiet as the team continues to berate Peter for what he did. The kid is shaking, he looks pale, and his breathing is labored, and way too fast. 

It doesn’t make any sense. Peter wouldn’t just leave someone to die. Even after the Vulture dropped a building on him, Peter saved his life. There has to be more to it. 

The team is still yelling at Peter, not giving the kid a chance to defend himself. “Hey guys, I think if we all were to just take a step back…” Bruce tries to intervene, but no one is listening to him. “Guys?” Sighing in defeat, Bruce starts thinking of ways he can get Peter out of the situation. The poor kid looks seconds away from a panic attack. 

“I thought you were better than this, Peter. You say you’re responsible, but then you leave an innocent person to die…” Mr. Stark yells. 

“Innocent?” Peter snaps, finding his voice again. “There is absolutely nothing innocent about that man. So why don’t you get off my fucking back for something you know nothing about.” 

“Language” Steve scolds. 

Mr. Stark takes a step towards Peter, grabbing his arm. 

“No!” Peter screams, jumping away from Mr. Stark’s grasp. 

Except it’s not Mr. Stark anymore. Peter’s in his childhood bedroom, being held down by his babysitter. It started out as Skip tickling Peter, but the older boy started creeping his hand up Peter’s shirt, before he tore it off completely. Peter tries to get out from under Skip, but he grabs his arms, holding them above his head as he slips a hand past the waistband of his pants. 

_ ‘It’s just part of the game, Peter.’ _

_ ‘I don’t like this game. It hurts. Please stop.’ _

_ ‘It only hurts because you’re fighting it.’ _

The room went silent, everyone watching as Peter stared at them all, looking absolutely terrified. “Kid?” Mr. Stark asked, his voice filled with concern. 

Peter’s face fell, making him look so much younger than he already does. There was a small gasp from someone in the room when the first tear rolled onto his cheek. “I don’t regret it.” Peter admitted, his bottom lip trembling.

“What’s going on, Peter?” Bruce asked softly. 

“You wouldn’t understand.” Peter answered, walking out of the room.

Nobody tried to stop him.

* * * *

Peter spent an hour under the burning stream of water trying to scrub off the memories of Skip’s hands over his body. Tears mixed with the water, and Peter didn’t try to stop the sobs that echoed through the bathroom. No matter how hard he tried, Peter couldn’t stop the images and voices that played through his mind. He ignored FRIDAY’s message that dinner was ready, still feeling the phantom touches. 

Not only was he feeling dirty and disgusting, but Peter’s worried about how his team will react. They already think he can’t handle being a superhero. This gives them more reason for why Peter shouldn’t be an Avenger. And he kind of agrees with them. 

He couldn’t stop the man who raped him, so how could he stop a bigger threat?

Maybe Steve was right, Peter shouldn’t be Spider-Man. He doesn’t deserve to be Spider-Man. 

Spider-Man is someone who is strong, and brave, and the epitome of good. Peter Parker is none of that. He’s weak, and pathetic, and a pitiful excuse for a person. 

_‘I knew it.’ Skip laughed. A sound that Peter could never forget. ‘You’re a filthy little whore who enjoys being played with.’_

Peter screamed, opening his eyes to stop the memory, slamming his fist into the shower wall. The cracking of the tile under Peter’s fist surprised him. He pulled his hand back, pieces of broken tile falling to the floor. Peter turned the water off, eyes wide as he saw the damage he had done. There was a fist sized hole in the wall. “Damn it.” He muttered. 

There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Pete? You okay in there?” Mr. Stark’s voice came from the other side of the door. 

“Uh, y-yeah.” Peter stuttered. He looked at his stinging hand, noticing the blood that was dripping onto the floor. A few shards of broken tile still embedded in the wound. There’s no way someone’s not going to notice his hand, even if he cleans it up. 

“Can we talk, Peter?” Mr. Stark asks with a sigh.

His stomach dropped. The last thing he wants to do is tell his mentor/father figure/childhood hero about the worst thing that has ever happened to him. Mr. Stark would never look at him the same. Peter doesn’t want anything to change. He doesn’t want to lose someone else. 

But there’s no way out of this. Mr. Stark is stubborn and determined. He’ll never let it go. 

Careful not to irritate his hand, Peter dried himself off quickly before pulling on the pajamas he’d picked out earlier. He took a couple deep breaths before opening the door. Mr. Stark was still standing on the other side, looking worried. 

The older man immediately spotted Peter’s still bloody hand. “Fuck, Pete. What did you do?”

“You should see the other guy.” Peter half heartedly jokes, wincing as Mr. Stark pulls his hand close to inspect it. Mr. Stark rolled his eyes, giving Peter a ‘cut the bullshit’ look. “There might be a hole in the shower wall.” Peter confessed. 

Mr. Stark only looked more concerned at the admission. “Come on, let’s go get this cleaned. While we’re at it, you can explain what’s going on in that head of yours.” 

Peter followed close behind Mr. Stark, keeping his eyes focused on the floor as they entered the living room. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him as Mr. Stark directed him to sit at the table while he got the first aid kit. His eyes were filled with tears again as he thought about what was about to happen. 

It was quiet at first when Mr. Stark started to clean the edges of the cuts on Peter’s hand. The room was filled with tension, no one wanting to be the first to break the silence. 

After a minute or two, Mr. Stark asked the first question. “Who is he, Pete?”

“What?” Peter looked up. 

“The man.” Mr. Stark clarified. “You said he isn’t innocent, so I’m assuming you know him.”

Taking a deep breath, Peter looked around the room at all the people in the room. He focused back on his lap as he answered, his lower lip quivering. “His name is Skip Wescott. He was my babysitter when I first moved in with May and Ben.” 

“Okay?” Mr. Stark’s eyebrows furrowed, his attention on wrapping Peter’s hand. “So why didn’t you want to save him?”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to.” Peter defended. “I just couldn’t.” 

“You had the time.” Steve accused, sitting across from Peter. “There was nothing stopping you from saving him.”

Tears slid down his face despite Peter squeezing his eye tightly shut. “You wouldn’t understand.” His voice was shaking. 

“Then explain it to us.” Mr. Stark gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze, Peter’s hand done being bandaged. 

“You’re gonna hate me.” Peter whispered. 

“No.” Bruce gasped. Peter looked up at him and saw the expression he knew from all the people who knew about Skip. Bruce figured it out. 

The small nod Peter gave Bruce was all the confirmation he needed. His stomach twisted and he felt like he was going to be sick. How could someone do something so terrible to such a good kid? 

“Nobody’s going to hate you, Peter. It wasn’t your fault.” Bruce tried to assure.

Peter shook his head. “You can’t promise that.”

“You guys want to fill the rest of us in on the silent conversation you’re having?” Mr. Stark asked, looking between Peter and Bruce. He was starting to get a little impatient. Something is wrong with his kid and he’s going to find out what. 

Swallowing down the shame and panic, Peter finally looks Mr. Stark in the eye. “He raped me. That’s why I couldn’t save him.” 

Time slowed for the second time that day for Peter. He watched as all of his teammates processed what he just told them. Their expressions all went through the same emotions - shocked, sad, guilty, murderous. 

“Holy fuck.” Steve breathed. 

“Language.” Peter teased, trying to lighten the mood. Or at least get someone to say something useful. 

Mr. Stark just stared at Peter, mouth gaping like a fish out of water. His own eyes were watering and he felt like he’d just been stabbed through the chest. With the hand that was still resting on Peter’s shoulder, he slowly pulled the kid in for a hug, making sure to give enough time for Peter to pull back. 

“I’m so sorry, kid.” Mr. Stark whispered into Peter’s hair. 

“It’s not your fault.” Peter replied. 

“No, but we shouldn’t have gotten mad. We should have let you explain.” Clint said. 

Natasha was pacing back and forth, mumbling to herself. Peter had never seen her so expressive before. It was a little concerning. “Nat?” He asked cautiously.

She whipped her head to look at him. “Why did you think we would hate you?” She asked softly. If Peter didn’t know better he would say she looked sad. 

“I didn’t want you guys to see how weak I am.” Peter admitted, bowing his head shamefully. 

Natasha walked towards Peter, kneeling down in front of him. She lifted his chin with her finger until he met her eyes. “That doesn’t make you weak, Peter. It makes you stronger because you survived it. You are our spider-kid. Nothing will ever change that.” 

Before he could stop himself, Peter reached forward, pulling Natasha in for a hug. Surprisingly, she didn’t resist. She turned her head to whisper in Peter’s ear, not wanting anyone else to hear. “I know what it’s like. I’m here for you anytime.” 

Peter was shocked to hear Natasha’s confession. He wanted to ask her so many questions, but she pulled back, standing as she did. “Now if you will all excuse me, I’ve got someone I need to make disappear.” 

“Count me in.” Bucky said, jumping up to join her.

Steve made an exasperated sound as he followed Natasha and Bucky out of the room, trying (and failing) to explain to them why they can’t just kill people. (“I never said I was going to kill him. I’ll just make sure no one ever has to deal with him ever again.”)

Chuckling a little at his pseudo aunt and uncle's protectiveness, Peter could feel himself relaxing a little. They’re his team, his family. Peter finally feels like he can breathe. He has people in his corner who - even though they treat him like a child sometimes - will always be willing to help. 

“So...Star Wars marathon?” Peter asks, dodging the playful shove Tony tried to give him. 

“The number of grey hairs on my head multiply everyday with you kid.”


End file.
